Why Don't All Divorcing Couples Consider Alternative Divorce Options First?



IACP is the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals, an international community of legal, mental health and financial professionals working in concert to resolve conflict worldwide through the use of the Collaborative process.


by Ken Schreiber-from the IACP website

For the past 20+ years, we have been conducting homebuyer workshops for couples facing divorce and only recently learned of alternative divorce options such as mediation, collaboration & cooperation.

It simply amazes me that all divorcing couple don’t consider Alternative Divorce Options First, when considering all of the benefits (i.e. lower costs, less emotional chaos, more private/less public, etc).

The majority of the divorcing public simply isn’t aware.

More troubling is that the majority of professionals that specialize in working with the divorcing public are not aware of these options and therefore cannot properly educate their clients. More often than not, these trusted advisors are the first to know when their clients are considering divorce.

In fact, we feel so strongly about these alternative options, that we have begun to incorporate the ADR message into our homebuyer workshops with very positive feedback and a substantial increase in attendance.

1. If you want to grow your ADR practice, you must ask yourself these questions…

2. What can I do (right now) to help build public awareness to these obvious first-choice divorce options?

3. Who can I align with to get the ADR message out faster and with greater impact?

4. What platform can I use to magnify our joint efforts?

The answer to these questions could lead to better consumer awareness and quite possibly a more dignified outcome in the majority of divorce cases.

Sandra Morgan Little -I agree! That’s why when I’m interviewing a potential client I first talk to them about their options about the process they use for their divorce. Most people don’t know that they can choose Collaborative Law, Mediation or Facilitation and never go to court. Most of our clients are more satisfied in the end with one of these processes.

Mediation, Negotiation, and Collaboration-Chapter 6

from Divorce in New Mexico by Sandra Morgan Little, Jan Gilman-Tepper, Roberta S. Batley

If your marriage is full of conflict, you might be asking how you can make the fighting stop. You picture your divorce as having vicious attorneys, an angry spouse, and screaming matches. You wonder if there is a way out of this nightmare. Or, perhaps you and your spouse are parting ways amicably. Although you are in disagreement about how your divorce should be settled, you are clear that you want the process to be respectful and hostility-free. You’d rather spend your hard earned money on your children’s college education than on legal fees. In either case, going to trial and having a judge make all of the decisions in your divorce is not inevitable. In fact, most New Mexico divorce cases settle without the need for a trial. The processes of mediation, negotiation, and collaboration can help you and your spouse to resolve your disputed issues and to reach your own agreements without taking your case before the judge who will make the decisions for you. Resolving your divorce through a mediated, negotiated, or collaborated settlement has many advantages. You can achieve a mutually satisfying agreement, have a known outcome with little risk of appeal, and often enjoy significantly lower legal fees. Despite the circumstances that led to the end of your marriage, it might be possible for your divorce to conclude peacefully with the help of these tools.